overcoming insecurity

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvellous well I know it” Psalm 139: 14-15 (NLT)

I have struggled to know where to begin with this post because insecurity has been a heavy weight I’ve carried around for most of my life. In ways, I feel very inadequate in writing this but, ironically, that’s my own insecurity taking hold.

This past year I have come face to face with just how much I have let insecurity seep into the core parts of my identity, dictating the way I act, think, and feel. I came to the realization that I was no longer functioning out of a place of security and love but rather fear. My insecurity blinded me from seeing people in their pain and their joy because I was so consumed by the unrest in my own soul. I was living in a constant state of fear -fear of what people thought about me, fear of not being enough, fear of being rejected, and the list could go on. I believed lies that told me I was made without a purpose, that I would never measure up to the expectations of people, and that no matter how hard I tried I would never be pretty enough, smart enough, kind enough, hardworking enough. I lived in a spiral of comparison which left me prideful, lonely, and distant. I finally came to a place where I could no longer carry the weight of this insecurity anymore and I began to wage a war on the lies that have held me captive for far too long. In all honesty it was initially very painful as I was forced to confront and take ownership of the hurt I have caused people. I also had to realize how much it has taken from me , while surrendering views about myself I thought were truth for so much of my life. One of the most helpful realizations I came to was through conversation with a friend. She said to me, “Have you ever let yourself get angry at the insecurity that has taken so much from you?” To be honest, I never had, I thought insecurity was part of who I was and I didn't even know it was possible to live without it. But let me assure you, insecurity is NOT who you are- it is the product of lies you have believe about yourself and there is freedom from it.

I believe you and I were formed by a perfect Creator who made us uniquely who we are.

“…does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop you’re doing it wrong!’ Does the pot explain, ‘How clumsy can you be?’ How terrible it would be if a newborn baby said to its father, ‘Why was I born?’ or if it

said to its mother, ‘Why did you make me this way?’" Isaiah 45: 9-10 (NLT)

This passage stuck out to me last summer amidst a downward spiral of comparison which was leading to feelings of self-hatred. I saw everyone else and longed for the confidence they held, yet I was struck by the boldness in these words and was confronted by the truth that I can never fulfill someone else’s purpose. I can only fulfil the one for which God created me. Who am I to question why I was created? It has been a journey and it has taught me to take a posture of humbly kneeling at the feet of Jesus over and over again asking, seeking, and searching for truth in his word. The surrender isn’t easy, but God promises that if we seek him we will find Him and He will grant us security as His beloved child (Matthew 7:7).

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Insecurity only robs you from experiencing, true joy, peace, and purpose. God did not make a mistake in creating you. You were made with purpose. If you feel like God has forgotten about you, He hasn’t. If you feel like God has given up on you, He never will. Jesus said, "And be sure of this, I will be with you until the end of the age" (Matthew 28:20). If you feel God can’t withstand the questions or doubts you have about Him; I assure you He can. And If you don’t know God at all that’s okay too, but I encourage you to get to know Him. If you have questions about God I urge you to reach out, we would love to walk with you through your questions!!

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